24 The Fifth Elephant by Pratchett Terry

Author:Pratchett, Terry [Terry, Pratchett,]
Format: epub
Published: 2010-04-10T22:08:31.823000+00:00

'Oh dear. Quaffing, do you think? Rats on sticks? Where's Detritus?' 'Over there, talking to the cultural attache from Genua. That's the man with the glazed expression.' As they got closer Vimes heard Detritus's voice in full expansive explanation: '-and den der's dis big room wid all seats in it, wid red walls and dem big gold babies climbin' up der pillar, only don't worry, 'cos dey're not real gold babies, dey're only made of plaster or somethin' . . .' There was a pause as Detritus considered matters. 'An' also I don't reckon it's real gold, neither, 'cos some bugger'd have pinched it if it was . . . and in front of der stage der's dis big pit where all der musicians sits. And days about it for dat room. In der next room der's all dese marble pillars, an' on der floor dey got red carpeting-' 'Detritus?' said Lady Sybil. 'I do hope you're not monopolizing this gentleman.' 'No, I bin tellin' him all about der culture we got in Ankh-Morpork,' said Detritus airily. 'I know just about every inch of der op'ra house.' 'Yes,' said the cultural attache in a stunned voice. 'And I must say I'm particularly interested in visiting the art gallery and seeing' - he shuddered - "'der picture of dis woman, I don't reckon der artist knew how to do a smile prop'ly, but der frame's got to be worth a bob or two." It sounds like the experience of a lifetime. Good evening to you.' 'You know, I don't fink he knows a lot of culture,' said Detritus as the man strode away. 'Do you think people will miss us if we slip away?' said Vimes, looking around. 'It's been a long day and I want to think about things-' 'Sam, you are the ambassador, and AnkhMorpork is a world power,' said Sybil. 'We can't just sneak off! People will comment.' Vimes groaned. So Inigo was right: when Vimes sneezes, Ankh-Morpork blows its nose. 'Your excellency?' He looked down at two dwarfs. 'The Low King will see you now,' said one of them. 'Er. ..' 'We will have to be officially .presented,' Lady Sybil hissed. 'What, even Detritus?' 'Yes!' 'But he's a troll!' It had seemed amusing at the time. Vimes was aware of a drift in the crowds across the floor of the huge cave. There was a certain movement to them, a flow in the current of people towards one end of the cave. There was really no option but to join it. The Low King was on a small throne under one of the chandeliers. There was a metal canopy over it, already encrusted with marvellous stalactites of wax. Around him, watching the crowd, were four dwarfs, tall for dwarfs, and looking rather menacing in their dark glasses. Each one was holding an axe. They spent all their time staring hard at people. The King was talking to the Genuan ambassador. Vimes looked sideways at Cheery and Detritus. Suddenly, bringing them here wasn't such a good idea.

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